Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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