i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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