Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
North Korea, Best Korea!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
