Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
