Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
