my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I touched a dick in church today
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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