he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
