Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize