haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
