none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
