Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
