So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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