awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
