good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize