I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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