you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
