I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
soo... how was my night?
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