so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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