I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
