She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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