on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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