how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
