If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
