Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So squirting runs in the family.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
