If i come over, it means nothing
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
