I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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