i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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