I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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