hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
