Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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