I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
