he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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