I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
