i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
