so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs