wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason