i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
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Semen is not good for contacts.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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