Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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