butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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