I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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