I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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