i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
