why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
