After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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