We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
