Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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