Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize