Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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