Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
