i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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