You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
