i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
