hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
