Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize