She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
