Small penises have feelings too.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
