and then he started using my ass as a stressball
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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