i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
