I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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