so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
