The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
