Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
