Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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