and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
