Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
